Reasons Not To Get Excited

Well I left church very disappointed and lost today.  Which doesn't surprise me.  It seems that God surely enjoys either beating me down or I am in a very lost place in life.  Today the message I walked away hearing was to listen to the right voices we hear through the day, not the ones that tie us down into bondage.  Which the voices I hear that seem to weigh me down are to be smart about your life and your dreams are emtpy promises that are basically my excuses to run away from problems.  But following that, I hear the verse that says something about the way to live that feels right to a man is the one that leads to death and destruction.  So on top of the broken heart I already had, what little I had left was shattered today.  And I found myself saying "you can never have what you want, your heart is decietful."  I have a hard time believing this is true but it is the loudest voice I hear.  The strang thing is that it seems when I try to seek out God he does not listen or turns his back to me.  Today life became more grim and empty and ugly than I think I have ever seen it.  In the past their was the hope that God would save me.  But now that I'm saved and feel even worse about life there is nothing to hope for.   I do not know what to do.

Currently Watching Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade - Widescreen Edition see related

First Golf Adventure

Right now my little brother's head is on my shoulder.  haha

Anyway, we just got done with our very first golfing excursion.  It was fun. Carts and all.  We sucked really bad the first half, like 30-40 shots more than needed for par on that first half.  But it was a lot of fun and we laughed a lot.  I think the funniest part was when we showed up to pay with clubs and bags that are like 30-40 years old.  All the old wood drivers and stuff.  I think the highlight of the whole trip for me was when on our last hole I decided to try and hit the ball in the air like a baseball with a putter.  Well after about the 5th swing, the putter made contact with the ball and the putter suddenly became much lighter than normal.  That's when I looked ahead to see the head of the putter go flying through the air with the golf ball.  Oh well.  I hope to do it again soon....

Tomorrow is church and again find myself looking foward to it.  It's been a very long time since I felt that way.  But I feel like I'm making progress in this area of my life.  Maybe I will never see the promised land.  I truly hope I do in this life.

Currently Listening Blue on Blue By Leigh Nash see related

Southwest

Denver

How about Denver? 

Anybody ever been to Denver?  I have acouple of times. 

Any takers?  Who's coming with me?

Currently Watching The Journey of Natty Gann By Meredith Salenger, John Cusack, Jed, Ray Wise, Lainie Kazan, Scatman Crothers, Barry Miller, Verna Bloom, Bruce M. Fischer, John Finnegan, Jack Rader, Matthew Faison, Jordan Pratt, Zachary Ansley, Campbell Lane, Max Trumpower, Doug MacLeod, Gary Chalk, Dwight McFee, Peter Anderson see related

Food